Did You Set Goals This Year?

Hey everyone!

I'm wondering, how many people in this world really do set goals at the beginning of each year?  

It's an important thing to do!  If you don't take time to think about what you want to accomplish in the next 365 days you probably won't accomplish much of anything that makes you happy.  Of course you can set small goals and feel fulfilled, but why not set a big goal once a year and really empower yourself to be better?  Or why not a few big goals that allow you to really shine in your natural character?  With these things in mind, I thought I'd take a moment to share with you some goals I've set for myself for 2013!

1. Sober Happiness ; finding the joys in life that don't involve any substance abuse at any time, at all.
2. Contribution = Greatest Potential ; as well as a reminder, this is a powerful message for me this year. It helps me to remember that when I am giving to others, in my own way, I am making a difference and showing my capabilities. This allows me to find the happiness within myself. 
3. Fill Each Day With Highest Priority Actions ; writing "To Do" lists each day, understanding what matters most to me, and really expanding on the idea of true priorities, are the best ways that I can reach my goals in life.
4. Highest Values = What I Want Most ; I value my family, my writing, my freedom in expression of my creativity, security in connections, well-rounded and kind individuals, people who think about the world in unlimited manners, open-minded individuality, real love, someone who can fully concentrate on the task at hand, praying, and reading the scriptures. All these things lead me to what I want most which is Happiness.
5. Pick Up A New Hobby ; I picked up a hobby at the beginning of January that I really enjoy! I crochet. It's a fun past time that is challenging enough to feel accomplished when each project is finished! 
6. Being Honest With My Intentions ; I realized this year, for me, is really about finding the real honesty in the circles I have chosen to walk in as well as be in alliance with. Reflecting on my behavior and self sometimes leaves me feeling uneasy. In order to continue to bring good energy into my personal atmosphere though I have to be honest with my true intentions in each connection I keep. This will help me to realize more about myself in my strive towards a better environment.  

I also think it's uplifting to find a quote or two at the beginning of the year that you can look at anytime you need to be reminded to stick to your goals! I found two that will keep me peaceful in times that will test my limits and my character:

" Life won't wait for you "

"I AM

Blessed

Chosen

Adopted

Accepted

Redeemed

& Forgiven."

Ephesians 1:11-12

I hope this inspires you to write some of your own goals for this year. It's only January for a few more days! Think deeply, love graciously. Embrace everything.

My very first ever crochet headband!

Two head-warmers I made this winter.

1/29/2013

~ B

My Mother

In my creator's heart she said a prayer
She lifted her mind as her soul unfolded
A predestined mother, like yours
A hero, a lover, a bearer of life.

The power of a woman
A person who is granted the choice
To bring new life to the Earth
Or to not add to the chaos.

Someone who will always be
Older, wiser, stronger
A moral compass for a weary child
An example of a path of kindness.

My mother, the carrier of burdens
For children who may lose direction
An assistant to lives she has granted
An angel and a guide.

My creator,
Someone willing to love unconditionally
Her decision was made
As she cradled a soft bundle of possibilities.

My mother, the one who never gave up
Who gave me a name
A story, a place, a mind
Half of my heart goes to my mother.

The rest she lets me keep
She says give it to the world
Be the change, be the light
All this, my mother gave me.

In days when I was alone
She was comforting
In days when I was distant
She was tender.

In her tears she gave me an apology
In her love she demonstrated forgiveness
In her laugh she showed me happiness
In her words she taught me manners.

All this and much more
Came from a woman with a choice
To bring a life, a mind, a heart,
A feasible reality to enjoy alongside her.

All of me at all,
Where my mind can reach depths of knowledge,
Where my soul can believe in compassion,
I am able because of my mother.

1/22/2013-1/27/2013
~ B

Red Converse & Dragons

On a cliff
Above water that wavers restlessly
There is a house
A place where people reside
The windows are damaged
The porch is rotten and spoiled.

As I am walking towards the house
I feel indifferent about my surroundings
A singular goal in my mind lures me
The forsaken face of an angel that lays
Deep within the walls
The one I am attempting to save.

I walk in towards the kitchen
A woman places the last dish on a table
"Dinner is ready"
I loom awkwardly over the table
My breath feels hot in chilled air
Where is the child?

Food is being sloshed onto plates
Laughing, yelling, tension,
Emotions seeming to conflict
Suddenly I am drifting away from the table
My feet sweep my body up a flight of stairs
I open the door into a dark room.

Creatures crawling, screeching,
Locked in grimy cages
Nestled in their own filth
I tip toe through the mess
Opening a closet door
He is there.

His age is six
His name is unknown
His hair is brown
His face is covered
He wears red converse
He is whom I have come to save.

He knows me but does not give me affection
He understand my arrival but is not moved by my presents
From the depths of the room he comes out of there is a hissing
A dark and growing voice
Wicked and devilish it calls for me
It tells me I can't leave without a fight.

Suddenly I wisp myself and the boy out of the room
We are falling fast down the flight of stairs
My head hits the post at the bottom
His precious body flies from my finger tips
My body slides to the first story
I try to regain my strength.

From the room above comes a quick moving figure
Its claws grip the staircase as it walks about half way down
As I am perfectly out of view
I see the creature from behind a wall
A dragon breathing fumes that cease to evaporate
Fire and fear stand closer than I imagined they would.

The small boy cradles me
He whispers in my ear
Do not fear the beast.. save me
There is a door in front of me
With his hand in mine I leap to it
The beast has spotted us.

Whether I am dead or alive
I open the door and a young girl is there
I stare into the eyes of myself as a child
I hold a candle and wear a white dress
Please save us
She motions me into the darkness.

This is the last time I will save you.

1/27/2013
~ B

(Fictional piece; a glimpse into one of my extraordinary dreams)

Inside An Imagination: Part 1

In the open abyss of a mind there is white.
White; the color of fresh snow that lays softly on the limbs of trees.
White; the color of elastic skin that lays stretched on the canvas of me.
I look ahead. I see everything, I see nothing.

I don't wonder why I'm here, trapped in my mind's forever.
Forever has no color.
Forever fades and returns like a memory.
A cognitive tunnel of imagination.

Here, is where a slumber takes me.
I am alone in my mind. I am alone.
Suddenly people appear jarring my white world.
Grassy planes surface, here, we walk clothed in dignity.

They don't see me but I am here.
I sit down on the side of the crowd.
Familiar faces surround me yet I am quietly alone.
Personalities intertwine, souls bind, in moments that are soon forgotten.

I am smiling on the inside.
I am collected on the outside.
My eye lashes blink heavy, taking rest momentarily.
They open into a vision the color of gold.

A figment of my mind's treasure engulfs me.
I knead a part of the gold within my hands.
Lightly encasing the matter momentarily.
With an upward motion a butterfly flies from my fingers.

I take more and am throwing it now, in all different directions.
Things are forming around me.
Many beautiful fireflies are flying around me now.
Lush flower beds grow off to my left.

Sand is forming underneath my toes.
I am sinking deeper..deeper.
I move my hands and glide them through a forward motion.
In the distance I create an ocean, above it, a sunset.

My legs trek through a deep sand.
My feet find a fresh pool of water.
I come to the ocean front and dive underneath.
I am alone in the depths of a vast ocean.

It is spotless and as wide and wavering as my forever.
My hair is breathing with me now.
Each strand is being held by the soft caress of this deep blue.
I am floating right under the surface in my forever.

I reach up penetrating through the liquid.
I grip a branch hanging low and I pull my body upward.
With open eyes I see lush vegetation.
I climb the tree to discover I'm on the brim of a green jungle.

How curious.
It is nightfall.
I am in a quiet place where no stars are in the sky.
There is only a crescent moon in the distance.

I climb down from the lowly tree, noticing it's a whispering willow.
I admire the refuge it gives underneath long majestic branches.
I tip toe up to the tree line.
I stop to listen.

Silence is among me.
An image of my body paces through the dense forest.
I run with a relentless force that sucks vision out of my eyes.
And up into the sky I go.

I leave my body running at a rapid pace.
I approach the celestial area of my mind.
It is cold out here, very cold.
Space is dark, matter is light.

Glowing objects are stagnant in place.
Nothing holds them.
The illusion of this magic is captivating.
I start to tilt, suddenly I'm falling.

Through the clouds I am falling back to Earth.
I feel gravity at each level, which forces me to pop my ears.
The wind is too brisk to breathe in.
I hold my breath as I am about to land.

I am caught by something a little above the ground.
Thick, warm arms cradle my weathered body.
I look up into kind eyes.
I see a face that is familiar in the most unfamiliar way.

All I see are his eyes.

We don't speak. I can't hear his voice.
The sky is cloudy above a cobble stone street.
I hear the sound of rushing water from the heavens.
Rain begins to fall slowly.

Droplets fall tenderly onto his head.
Rolling down his cheeks.
Several are upon his eye lashes, his lips.
His embrace is heated, his breath is steady.

Something tickles my toes.
It is a child who giggles, who vanishes.
It is my long dress fluttering in a drift.
It is my feet treading light as I'm running.

I am running toward a building that is all white.
Inside there is a large room.
The doors are heavy, pure is the silence.
The windows are thick, dim is the light.

I approach the room.
There is a desk. I walk towards. I sit.
There is a quill and ink on the right.
There is paper on the left.

An old man taps my shoulder.
He grabs my hand and kneels before me.
Tell us fair child, tell our people what you know.
He stands and turns me towards the paper.

I press hard on the desk and fall forward.
Falling, all around me is darkness.
Falling, unable to see the ground.
I look ahead. I see everything. I see nothing.

My eyes shoot open.
My pupils try to adjust and sun rays beam me in the face.
Time for work. Time is money. Time for today.
Time to tell what I know.

1/13/2013 - 1/15/2013
~ B

Short Story 1

An emblem falls from my pocket and I hesitate, unable to catch it as it falls. I watch the purple hued knob roll back and forth on the tiles of the girls bathroom. Time after time I've been here. 16 years old and another day at school has ended.

What is it to 'go home?'

As a poet my mind drifts away and I start to imagine myself running on to a yard where my sweetheart is and children run from a warm house to embrace me.

"On a winter day my honey warms my children's hearts while I'm away... I sing lullabies softly into their ears as the day turns to night. Sweet, sweet lullabies. That grip their souls as to keep them sleeping deeply through the night.." 

My mind filters through words and creates sentences running off on to many papers falling...falling slowly to the ground.
Reality sets back in as a cold drift moves through the air. Someone is coming. I reach down and grip the small object and egress through old doors.
There is a bite to the air that hardens my lips as I exit the school.  Ah, winter, we meet again. I place my hands in my pockets as my feet press forward.  The earth is beautiful all around me. I catch myself smiling at the littlest things. I see children playing in the elementary school field right next to my school. I look down and see leafs left to be squished of all their colorful juices on the sidewalk below me.
Anything to keep my mind off home.
It is about a six block walk back to my house. The route leads me uphill in the wind. In a small rural place like this it is about a 10 minute walk. I fiddle with the small little knob in my pocket. I've had it for years. Once on a necklace, it is now just an object I carry around for fun. I entirely believe that its significance is yet to be determined. I knew though that it would be there when something great happened... yeah something great.
As I approach my street I start to feel sick.
Please don't let anyone be home.
I open the front door and a familiar face stands in the entrance. My mother looks indifferent as she kneels  over to clean up a mess that someone has left. The floor is spotless besides a few dirty water droplets and a pair of wet shoes. Typical.
"Hi." I say, but in the air my voice evaporates. I drift up to my room and close the door. Dad will be home soon. Hopefully we can all enjoy tonight.
I close my eyes and try to send good energy through the house. I had developed this habit when I was young. It was appropriate to wish for a good night if tension lingered in the air for too long.
After several minutes of wishing, I pry my brain away from that focus and scope out my room. Everything is in place. No visible electronics besides my phone. No homework. Nothing really to do. I hear my mother yelling at my brothers as they run around the house playing games. A day in the life.
I pull out a book I've been trying to read for quite some time. I start to read a chapter of it and soon I am drifting to sleep.
Screaming is the next thing I hear.
My eyes spring open as my pupils try to adjust. It is dark in my room and all that's visible is seen by a light that shines through the crack under my door. Walking out into the hallway I tread lightly on the carpet and stop at the staircase. More screaming from the bottom floor proceeds and my heart begins to pick up pace. My hands become clammy as fear shoots through my body like a gun pulled right on my chest.
It's nothing new that my parents are at each others throats. The situation has been the same for years, but the feeling it gives me never settles right. You don't get use to this type of war. As a child you just have to know how to stay out of the way.
I hear something break and I know my mom is the culprit but that she will blame by father entirely. In these moments I tend to go to a cold place in my mind; a protective mode. This is where you don't feel, you don't think, you just do. I spring down the stairs and scoop up two quiet children who sit against the wall. My brothers. They are looking at toys that five minutes ago they were laughing and playing with. Now they only seemed interested in inspecting them. Their silence feels like death and I try not to empathize with their fear. My brothers' large brown and hazel eyes search mine with a sadness that no one should ever feel. They grip my arms for protection. I smile and kiss them as my heart weeps. We enter their room and I lock the door. I instantly clap my hands and slap my legs.  Feeling my emblem slid around in my pocket I pull it out and start to tell them about it.

See this? This is special. This is my special emblem and I'm giving it to you guys to share. You can look at it and toss it in your hands. You can wear it around you neck and make wishes on it. Isn't it cool?

Creating noise is the best idea I can come up with. I talk loudly about anything and everything they are interested in. We talk about preschool and dinosaurs. But there is no hiding in a house full of torment. The screaming gets louder and soon the parents are upstairs opening and slamming doors several times. Dad is crying, mom is screaming. Dad is yelling, mom is hitting. The madness persists. Mom tries to open the door and my heart jumps. I open it and she storms in like the darkest cloud in a mid-day sky. Her eyes drenched in tears, as she fills my brothers minds with an idea to diminishing the image of my father as a man. Telling them things that make them question our only honorable and hard working father. I walk out of the room, helpless. Knowing if I say anything I too will get the wrath. Downstairs my father is out in the garage weeping blindly into his hands. Silently mouthing 'why' repeatedly.
But I know why. So does he.
I run to my room so my carpet can catch me and all my tears. I shut my door and reach up to lock it. The storm has passed but for how long? The feeling of torment never subsides within me. I wonder how my heart keeps pumping after years of pain. I reach up and grab my bible and place it lightly on my chest.

Dear God, please spare me and my family from this pain. Father, please help me. Please help my family.

I plead with God as my faith in his protection continues to shed light on my heart. It calms the whimpering and I continue to repeat my prayer. My breathing calms and my closed swollen eyes begin to soften their grip. My body relaxes.

Please, Father, please. Stop this war within this house. Stop the war..

Soon my bodies lays limp and my hands slide off of my chest. They skim the pages of the open book.

"..On a winter day my honey warms my children's hearts while I'm away... I sing lullabies softly into their ears as the day turns to night. Sweet, sweet lullabies. That grip their souls as to keep them sleeping deeply through the night.." 

Peace is around me. The house is quiet and dark.
I am asleep for now. I am asleep.

1/9/2013
~ B

Untitled

Father,
I call upon you in the wee hours of the morning
Sending toward you a trouble in my soul
The tears from my eyes that have fallen
And have consumed my inner balance.

I humbly fall at your feet,
To explain the damage brought to my heart
By my thoughts the length of many days
A mind unsettled by a destructive world.

It was until today I had yet to realize
The true power of my strength
Part of me that was hidden from my own being
By a destructive manner I followed blindly.

Oh, how I have been lost
I come pedaling the water
Quick with damp feet
Taking refuge under your eternal tree.

Why had I fallen for the fruit?
The corruption that had scewed my judgement
Where character and time play as a couple
Whom have broken their vows to my soul.

I weep in the brim hours of the morning
Father, hear my cry
Mend my heart as bodies lay asleep
Dreaming dreams of everlasting peace.

I listen for your voice to carry me home
A place where I awake and never leave
The light from somewhere deep
Where my heart heals slowly toward a higher peek.

~ B

Thus Is Life

In the beginning there was motion.
Where the darkness stood still
Time assembled and began to tick.

Energy in a vibration.
This frequency was created
Time and energy grew with strength in a fluid movement.

In this moment of pace there was a breath.
The breath was not from the mouth
It was from the cosmos.

Life is the consciousness that we know
Formed first as an energy encapsulated
Within the region of body known as universe.

The elastic infinite imagination, mind; space
Attracted together masses of accumulation in to what are shapes
Solids formed in tumorous numbers which accumulate in the body; universe.

Preceding a notion of formulated language
These objects were seen through the lenses
Which are distinct and differing compounds that synchronize.

Therefore in the stagnant up and down there was zero.
Within movement there was one
In conceived time there was two, thus continuum.

Source; the provenience we are in
Before motion was the only presence and was comparable to Same
After motion, presence became Different, like children.

Time current is quick and is slow.
Thus, depending on the pull of attraction,
A particular field of energy is depicted.

A mind caught utterance forming language
Concept began to grow
Imagination perilously Infinite.

As life is concept of creation
Knowledge that enabled the universe to quickened the process
Objective created subjective.

We are the subject of an object.
God, Source, created Earth
Individually we populate IT.

We love because THE loved us first.
THE Source of Intelligence created
And individual was formed.

You are your own intity.
But you are not Source, alone
You are a part and of it, you are not zero.

You are not first, you are not last.
End is not last, Beginning is not first
Binary flow towards continuum is measureless.

THUS. IS. LIFE.

1/1/2013
~ B